I consider myself to be a very ‘alternative’ person. I mean, in the sense that we unschool and eat a mostly vegetarian diet. And play video games and such. But as a family and what we do, we are actually very traditional and conservative. I am very, very worried about modern society and materialism, as well as intense ‘individualism’ ( me, me, me). We are hyperconsumers, lost in busyness and buying. The current economical struggles we are all facing are changing this in some ways, but I fear that we lack community so much so that kindness is diminishing, in certain respects.
What my husband and I are proud of is that Kaya is a kind child. That has been our focus: raising her to respect all of life and be kind to herself and others. This is the basis of creating a community that is steeped in concern for all members, and for promoting health and happiness within its reach. I have been very, very saddened at how society distances parents from their children, and individuals from eachother. And I have noticed some disturbing things on my travels, namely children acting unusually unfriendly towards eachother and also towards their parents and even animals. I don’t agree with creating a subservient child, but I absolutely believe in fostering respect and admiration for others. Especially the elderly, whom are almost looked down upon in our world.
‘ In 2005 MTV produced a marketing report entitled Is This The First “Me” Generation ever? The report showed that the growing sophistication of electronic gadgetry has led to a generation connected to their machines rather than to eachother; the global village is fading as people have potential to be better informed but couldn’t care less. The hyper-consumer is young and confidant, and acquires self esteem from buying well rather than the boring process of acquiring wisdom. People are increasingly connected to their own story, not to anybody else’s’
Abbot Christopher Jamison, Finding Sanctuary
I agree with much of the Abbot’s sentiment, as well as the MTV finding. I also firmly know and believe that the internet has the potential to unite people all over the world, as was exhibited by the mass protests in Egypt and Occupy Wallstreet. But at the same time, its how we use it, and how much we use it and our gadgets that is the problem. Our cultures are hyper busy, and overly connected to the net. Sites like facebook can and do certainly foster and environment where we can connect to old friends, but it can also be a big time waster from our family and our immediate friends. And it can also be the whole ‘me and my story’ thing.
So how do we, as parents, raise kind children who are connected more in real life and use the internet merely as a tool that can indeed be put away when it is not needed? How can we become truly more connected with our loved ones, friends, and all of life? That is really a more philosophical question, but when it comes down to it it’s showing our children compassion and concern for others from our own actions. Children hate hypocracy, and if they see us being mean or disconnected and not helping someone in need, they copy us. And thus the cycle perpetuates.
The key is to make kindness a priority, as well as how your family feels about reaching out to others in need of help. No one is perfect, so of course we all have our bad days. But a start is to create a family board with pictures of individuals who have helped people ( Gandhi being an excellent example, and MLK jr) as well as images of individuals locally and abroad who you can help. Discussing the board daily or as much as possible with your child shows that it is a priority in your life.
Do you have any suggestions as to how you encourage your kids to be kind? I would love to hear them!
And we would be representing Phuket!!
