Yet ANOTHER reminder of why my kids won’t go to school…ever

I’m pretty furious. My family and I went to eat next to a small art school for preschool age kids, which we had visited once before. The owner is really lovely, and a BIG advocate of home ed. Her staff however, sent off some red flags to me ( both are quite sullen, and one never responds if you speak to her). Since Kaya decided she wanted to go and play there for a bit before our food came, Billy went with her and I placed our order. The owner wasn’t there, just the one who could barely speak and when she did was a real….yeah. Fill in the blank.

A few minutes later, Billy came out alone and I asked what was going on, as I knew Kaya didn’t like being left alone with that chick ( and I certainly didn’t). Basically he had gotten ushered out, when Kaya had started to paint. I really didn’t feel good about this because although I knew and liked the owner, and loved the facilities, this employee she had was just rude and possibly a druggie. Seriously.

I went over there right away and was asked what I was doing there, in tandem with my daughter saying ‘Mom don’t leave me’. Wasn’t it obvious, my kid didn’t want to be left there, she just wanted to play and paint and whatnot and one of us would be with her, while the food was being made. The owner already told me she had mums who stayed with their kids, and we were obviously paying customers. The chick basically started to insult me, in her weird tone ‘Your husband was just here. He already left.’ Yeah, I was well aware of that. Had she not heard my daughter ask me to stay? My temper was heating up with this woman, who was giving me a ‘please leave and let me play with her’ look. I said Kaya did not want to be left alone and this was clear. She had just vocalized it. So, no, I wasn’t going anywhere. She wouldn’t take her eyes off me and tried to get Kaya’s attention, in some odd attempt to show me that Kaya was fine. No, she didn’t want to be alone, she did however want to play so sure she would like to look at the game you are showing her.

She kept saying some insulting phrases and Billy walked in. I made it clear to him we needed to go. I went over to the cafe and got the food as takeaway, he came and paid and we paid the arts school place. Billy tried to let the other sketchy chick know we were leaving because of how incredibly rude they were, and they didn’t care. They ushered him out.

As a parent, I find it very, very disturbing that A.) these women were unwilling to listen to both my daughter and myself and B.) how they could have been hired. Sure, they could distract her with some paints and such until her attention was off of the parent, and then the parent makes a break for the door We don’t roll that way. We listen to her and her needs, and don’t feel comfortable leaving her with virtual strangers. We had tried once before at the same place to have Kaya do the arts on her own with the owner, and it didn’t work, despite how wonderful she was with Kaya. And I didn’t like it either. So it wasn’t going to happen again. I explained this to the mean staff member, who didn’t care. Honestly, I think she felt nervous having a parent there, as though maybe I would see something I didn’t like.

My husband is a teacher, and he honestly hates what he sees parents at his school doing. The kid obviously doesn’t want to be there, and has no discipline, but the parent doesn’t care; they treat it as child care. And this is a private, after school academy, so this is even after the kids have gone to school. Billy also happens to know a few teachers, some of whom are great, but others who redefine the word bad. When he taught at his old school, he only had one conversation with the other ESL teacher. Basically, this older ‘experienced’ teacher told him that the students and their parents…wanted them to have sex with them. My husband stood their with a stunned look on his face as the man elaborated. He wasn’t able to utter a word to the guy, he was shocked and disgusted. He reported this guy…yet the man wasn’t kicked out. Nope. He stayed there.

I have had some lovely teachers growing up, but I have had some scary ones, one of whom touched a student inappropriately. Others who were verbally abusive. And yet others who were just terrible at the craft of teaching.

Children are abused at school, by teachers and by their supposed peers. And it’s happening at younger and younger ages. For me school started to become a very scary world in grades school, now we have a society where who knows if your kindergardener will be handcuffed for having a tantrum. Where bad teachers aren’t fired but traded to other schools as part of a deal to get rid of unappealing staff,

“It’s actually incredibly difficult to fire an ineffective teacher. You have to basically meet a criminal standard,” Michelle says. In one case, Michelle says a teacher in her district would disappear from the classroom, skip work day after day and fall asleep in class, but when the district tried to terminate her, she only earned a 10-day suspension.

 We want to create emotionally stable, happy, healthy kids which enables our planet to have a brighter future. It is 100 percent unacceptable the amount of abuse that occurs within schools worldwide. Don’t just think these are isolated incidents. They aren’t. From clergy to experienced staff, to child care providers, it’s rampant.

 

Resources:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45302947/ns/today-parenting_and_family/t/teachers-caught-tape-bullying-special-needs-girl/#.T5KKiI6GQ7A

Clerical abuse of children that is covered up; Full length, Academy award nominated documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cYv9wKH7CE

Bullying begins in preschool

http://www.ivillage.com/bullying-starts-preschool-how-stop-it-early/6-a-328191

 

5 thoughts on “Yet ANOTHER reminder of why my kids won’t go to school…ever

  1. Rebeca

    One of the very few times I left my oldest in a nursery type setting was like this. I was very apprehensive, and the woman kept assuring me he’d be fine. I asked her to please come get me if Peregrine seemed upset, as I was just down the hall. When I picked him up I assumed he had been fine since she hadn’t sent anyone for me. He had cried and cried, and she must have been a smoker because he smelled like cigarettes, and she’d not honored my wishes by calling me. Later in the day he had a fever and I realized that he hadn’t been feeling well and felt so bad for leaving him.
    We knew before we ever had kids we would homeschool them, but we decided that in church or similar settings they would stay with us too. While it’s not always easy, I am so glad. It communicates to our kids that they are full people, not sent off to be entertained while the adults worship. They are part of the community, able to participate as much as they want to, etc. As my older ones are now nine and seven, we’re learning to give them some independence and allow them to learn to fly a bit, but there’s sure tension on my part between wanting to protect them and letting them discover the world a bit further from us.

    Reply
    1. SattvicFamily Post author

      I’m so sorry to hear that happened. You must have felt as terrible as I did, I felt so guilty. And I bet that lady just thought nothing of it, people have been so dumbed down. It really, really disturbs me. Like you, I most probably will stay with my kids during church/religious activities until she is wants to be alone, which probably won’t be for a long, long time.

      Reply
  2. Mary

    I can’t say that I relate because we’ve never had anything like this happen to us directly…however, we DO see the value in homeschooling vs public school on SO many levels. I think one of the triggers for me was when my eldest, then 9, had suffered a back injury in martial arts and needed pain meds…eventually the doc said to take otc as needed. I felt that she was able to judge for herself..but the school had the ”bring it in with a script and we’ll administer it at a certain time”. There was no option for as needed. Since I felt she was capable of self administering if needed I tucked it into her pocket…let’s just say it wasn’t well received by the teachers (who were failing to teach her math but still passing her thru). Signed, sealed, and withdrawn the next day. And it’s funny how, after speaking to our children, people often ask if they are homeschooled (without knowing we are full time travelers) because of their behavior!
    Anyway, I found you’re blog through nomadicalsabbatical.com (he mentioned us both on his blog)
    Glad to meet ya!!

    Reply
  3. Karla

    That sounds awful. I don’t have kids yet but I worry about this all the time. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do when I have kids. There are so many things I dislike about the public school system and I feel like I really would prefer they be home schooled. Yet, I don’t feel like I would be an adequate teacher. My mother was always very protective with all of us and while it drove me insane growing up, I appreciate that she cared enough to always have us in sight. While I don’t want to make my child feel suffocated I feel I will be the same way. These days you just never know, you can’t trust anyone. I can NOT believe what that teacher told your husband. That is just awful.

    Reply

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