Unschooling | Sattvic Family

Yet ANOTHER reminder of why my kids won’t go to school…ever

April 21, 2012 By SattvicFamily 3 Comments

I’m pretty furious. My family and I went to eat next to a small art school for preschool age kids, which we had visited once before. The owner is really lovely, and a BIG advocate of home ed. Her staff however, sent off some red flags to me ( both are quite sullen, and one never responds if you speak to her). Since Kaya decided she wanted to go and play there for a bit before our food came, Billy went with her and I placed our order. The owner wasn’t there, just the one who could barely speak and when she did was a real….yeah. Fill in the blank.

A few minutes later, Billy came out alone and I asked what was going on, as I knew Kaya didn’t like being left alone with that chick ( and I certainly didn’t). Basically he had gotten ushered out, when Kaya had started to paint. I really didn’t feel good about this because although I knew and liked the owner, and loved the facilities, this employee she had was just rude and possibly a druggie. Seriously.

I went over there right away and was asked what I was doing there, in tandem with my daughter saying ‘Mom don’t leave me’. Wasn’t it obvious, my kid didn’t want to be left there, she just wanted to play and paint and whatnot and one of us would be with her, while the food was being made. The owner already told me she had mums who stayed with their kids, and we were obviously paying customers. The chick basically started to insult me, in her weird tone ‘Your husband was just here. He already left.’ Yeah, I was well aware of that. Had she not heard my daughter ask me to stay? My temper was heating up with this woman, who was giving me a ‘please leave and let me play with her’ look. I said Kaya did not want to be left alone and this was clear. She had just vocalized it. So, no, I wasn’t going anywhere. She wouldn’t take her eyes off me and tried to get Kaya’s attention, in some odd attempt to show me that Kaya was fine. No, she didn’t want to be alone, she did however want to play so sure she would like to look at the game you are showing her.

She kept saying some insulting phrases and Billy walked in. I made it clear to him we needed to go. I went over to the cafe and got the food as takeaway, he came and paid and we paid the arts school place. Billy tried to let the other sketchy chick know we were leaving because of how incredibly rude they were, and they didn’t care. They ushered him out.

As a parent, I find it very, very disturbing that A.) these women were unwilling to listen to both my daughter and myself and B.) how they could have been hired. Sure, they could distract her with some paints and such until her attention was off of the parent, and then the parent makes a break for the door We don’t roll that way. We listen to her and her needs, and don’t feel comfortable leaving her with virtual strangers. We had tried once before at the same place to have Kaya do the arts on her own with the owner, and it didn’t work, despite how wonderful she was with Kaya. And I didn’t like it either. So it wasn’t going to happen again. I explained this to the mean staff member, who didn’t care. Honestly, I think she felt nervous having a parent there, as though maybe I would see something I didn’t like.

My husband is a teacher, and he honestly hates what he sees parents at his school doing. The kid obviously doesn’t want to be there, and has no discipline, but the parent doesn’t care; they treat it as child care. And this is a private, after school academy, so this is even after the kids have gone to school. Billy also happens to know a few teachers, some of whom are great, but others who redefine the word bad. When he taught at his old school, he only had one conversation with the other ESL teacher. Basically, this older ‘experienced’ teacher told him that the students and their parents…wanted them to have sex with them. My husband stood their with a stunned look on his face as the man elaborated. He wasn’t able to utter a word to the guy, he was shocked and disgusted. He reported this guy…yet the man wasn’t kicked out. Nope. He stayed there.

I have had some lovely teachers growing up, but I have had some scary ones, one of whom touched a student inappropriately. Others who were verbally abusive. And yet others who were just terrible at the craft of teaching.

Children are abused at school, by teachers and by their supposed peers. And it’s happening at younger and younger ages. For me school started to become a very scary world in grades school, now we have a society where who knows if your kindergardener will be handcuffed for having a tantrum. Where bad teachers aren’t fired but traded to other schools as part of a deal to get rid of unappealing staff,

“It’s actually incredibly difficult to fire an ineffective teacher. You have to basically meet a criminal standard,” Michelle says. In one case, Michelle says a teacher in her district would disappear from the classroom, skip work day after day and fall asleep in class, but when the district tried to terminate her, she only earned a 10-day suspension.

We want to create emotionally stable, happy, healthy kids which enables our planet to have a brighter future. It is 100 percent unacceptable the amount of abuse that occurs within schools worldwide. Don’t just think these are isolated incidents. They aren’t. From clergy to experienced staff, to child care providers, it’s rampant.

Resources:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45302947/ns/today-parenting_and_family/t/teachers-caught-tape-bullying-special-needs-girl/#.T5KKiI6GQ7A

Clerical abuse of children that is covered up; Full length, Academy award nominated documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cYv9wKH7CE

Bullying begins in preschool

http://www.ivillage.com/bullying-starts-preschool-how-stop-it-early/6-a-328191

Filed Under: Unschooling Tagged With: day care, preschool, Unschooling

5 Ways To Worldschool Without Leaving Home

April 19, 2012 By SattvicFamily Leave a Comment

I wish I could worldschool.

This is a sentiment that gets expressed to me often by parents looking to travel and educate their children while on the road. Many want the cultural experiences as well as something to break up the monotony of our daily routines. The great thing I tell people is that they can worldschool, and it doesn’t matter where they are. This stumps them. But I am being honest: yes, travel is a fantastic form of family bonding and education, but you can experience similar elements without leaving your hometown.

1.) Develop a traveler’s mindset

BE AN ADVENTURER! Believe me, this can take some effort for people. I personally get stuck in a ‘bored and tired’ mindframe a lot. I completely forget that I feel better when I acknowledge that life is a mystery waiting to be explored, and even our mundane habits can take on new meaning when we look at them this way.

I learned this when I was in Korea. My husband seemed to be perpetually at work, and I was at home with a toddler all day and a good portion of the evening. I felt desperate. Trapped. Longing for something. One day my attitude shifted and all of a sudden I felt really happy and excited. For God’s sake, I was in Korea! We had a lovely park in our apartment complex! We had some great friends at a local cafe, who basically adopted us. I got to eat kimchi! When this sudden shift happened, the mundane really seemed…cool.

Project:

How can you shift your mindset to that of an explorer and share this outlook with your children?

2.) Pack up the kids and do something different, perhaps out of your comfort zone.

Pick a random day of the week and go somewhere you’ve never been before. It could be a zumba class, or horseback riding. This is a good way to shake things up and it’s a great way to bond with kids. Even if you all hate it, at least you tried it and know it wasn’t for you.

Project:

What classes in your neighborhood could you do with your kids?

3.) Go to the Asian supermarket nearest you

There happen to be a lot of ethnic supermarkets in the Western world, even in some smaller towns. Do you have one that is semi close? Research some dishes you have always wanted to try, make a list and have a family outing to the supermarket. Even if you can get some of the items from a big chain/regular supermarket, go to the ethnic one as the kids may find some unique foods they may want to try that they wouldn’t have seen at a generic store.

Take the groceries home and cook up your new dish!!

Project:

Go to the closest ethnic supermarket and get items to make a meal you have always wanted to make…but haven’t. By some exotic fruits or veg as well, or maybe even Asian snacks ( such as seaweed). Keep a World Food journal with your children to keep track of your trips and your meals, as well as their reactions.

4.) Download some world music

One of the best parts of my summer in Kenya was listening to Brenda, a South African singer who was popular throughout Africa. I covet my CD! My neighbor, who is from Nairobi, got incredibly home sick when I showed it to him, and asked me if he could borrow it. It was a great way to get to know him.

Project:

Have your children pick a country and begin to research pop or traditional music from there, and download it. Some may be harder to find, but sites like Live365.com have free radio stations from around the world.

5.) Begin to simplify your life

Many worldschoolers and folks following Lifestyle Design actually live a simple life. That’s not to say we don’t like some luxuries, but we take a preference for following a simple path ( aka not buying a ton of stuff). I find the best way to begin this process is to make a list with your family of things that are really important to you. What could you do without? How can you free up your time by following a simpler path? This varies from family to family.

We personally try to buy good quality items but from Indie businesses, such as etsy.com, or support our local community by buying from our friends and neighbors.

Project:

Ask your family what you really need to buy, and donate, sell, or throw out unwanted items. Pick up a copy of Living Simply With Children and go over some of the topics discussed in that book

I can’t wait to find more ways to worldschool without leaving your hometown!!

What are some of your ideas on activities you can do with your family?

Filed Under: Unschooling, Worldschooling Tagged With: global citizenship, Unschooling, worldschooling

Birthday Trip To Phuket Aquarium

April 6, 2012 By SattvicFamily 4 Comments

And when you've finished, sit and have a coffee in the best spot in the world

This was our first little trip to the Phuket Aquarium, and Kaya can’t wait to go back. I’ve been frequently asked about things to do in Phuket and Thailand in general, and I think the local aquarium is a great place for kids. The location couldn’t be better, the view is to die for. Most people who come to Phuket first stay in or connect from Bangkok. If you fly to Bangkok you can easily find a cheap ticket from Air Asia to Phuket, even when booked a day or two before your flight.

Phuket residents who haven’t visited the aquarium are missing out. It really is unique and my daughter loved it.

Filed Under: Homeschooling, Peaceful Parenting, Phuket, Simple Living, Thailand, Travel, Unschooling, Worldschooling Tagged With: Phuket aquarium

The Benefits of Keeping Kids Active and Engaged

March 22, 2012 By SattvicFamily Leave a Comment

Today’s children are inundated with digital entertainment while spending countless hours in front of TVs, computers, smart phones and video games. The importance of engaging them in activities that build their character becomes more significant by the day. In a short span of a couple generations, the way children grow up and experience their development has totally changed. Kids play outside less, don’t drink water out of garden hoses much anymore and don’t know what it means to come home when the street lights turn on. Regardless, by taking an active role in preserving a child’s natural curiosity, and sense of adventure, you’re giving that kid a head start on adulthood.

When I was young, I frequently got mad at friends who would stay home and watch TV or a movie on a perfectly gorgeous, sunny day in Chicago. One of the only 30 or so we were annually rationed. Although my friends failed at joining me on outdoor adventures, my parents always picked up the slack. Like most American families, my family packed up into vehicles and car rentals of various shapes and sizes, and drove off to all compass points across America. These were the lean years when we couldn’t afford a private jet charter to flit off to Europe. Actually, the road trip years were all the years, and I’ll always prefer to be like the Griswolds than anyone else. I spent time in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Arkansas, Tennessee, South Dakota, Colorado, Florida and Maine on vacations when I was a child. Most of my recreation focused on fishing, swimming, looking for odd creatures in the woods and getting lost in the woods. That’s one of the worst feelings for a kid.

One of the best feelings a kid can have is when they overcome their fear of getting lost. Or maybe one of the best feelings is when a kid learns how to swim. Maybe it’s when they climb a tall tree and get over their fear of heights. Whatever the task is, giving children the courage, indomitable spirit and belief to do these things is up to us. Thinking about my childhood, I try to do my part with my friend Jaden.

I volunteer for Big Brothers Big Sisters and I have an eight year old, Little Brother. Like most kids he loves video games. He doesn’t play outside much and he doesn’t get many opportunities to do exciting, fun things or go to new places. I always try to keep him engaged, energized and entertained. I am his “enabler.” I always try to enable him to do things he didn’t know he could do. I took him tree climbing once. An outdoor educational group rigged a Brazilian style, tree climbing system to a 100 foot tall oak tree, which my Little Brother and I climbed. My Little Brother nimbly scooted up the rope, with wild eyes and a wide smile pouring out from underneath his helmet. He climbed over 50 feet into the air and loved it. I also took him fishing once and we caught a puffer fish. Within moments, the puffer fish inflated, and suddenly fishing became a biology lab. I never saw a puffer fish in my life, much less a frightened one that looked like a small balloon. My Little Brother particularly enjoyed that surprise of the sea. The two of us also traversed a three story high rope course. I am not sure who was having more fun. Between the challenging obstacles, the balancing and the heights, you felt like you were a monkey at a zoo. It was quite an entertaining way to spend the afternoon.

My Little Brother doesn’t get a lot of chances to do things like this, so it’s great that I can offer him unique, character building experiences. I can see that he’s changed a bit since we first were matched. He’s shown a few signs of being more inquisitive and confident. Sometimes these qualities aren’t nurtured enough in children. I attribute my travels throughout the United States and abroad to my parents. They sowed the desire to travel and a sense of adventure in me, on our vacations when I was a kid. Hopefully now, I am sharing the same fortune with another kid. The world is shrinking and America’s youth is increasingly diverse. Instilling kids with confidence, passion and curiosity prepares them early to adapt and engage to a rapidly changing world. So when they become adults they can live, work and travel where they choose.

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Filed Under: Family Life, Homeschooling, Peaceful Parenting, Unschooling, Worldschooling Tagged With: car rentals, private jet charter

Phuket Zoo trip

March 14, 2012 By SattvicFamily Leave a Comment

So, a few weeks ago we decided to FINALLY go to the Phuket Zoo! It is the strangest zoo I have ever been to, and quite intriguing. There are few signs as to where to go, and beer bottles all over the place. Part of it is under construction.

I LOVE GOATS!!

Filed Under: Family Life, Peaceful Parenting, Phuket, Travel, Unschooling, Worldschooling Tagged With: family travel, Phuket with kids, Phuket zoo

Mayim Bialik Talks About APing and Unschooling

March 12, 2012 By SattvicFamily 9 Comments

Actress and natural parenting advocate Mayim Bialik sat down with Juju Chang to discuss her new book, which concerns unschooling and Attachment Parenting. As a parent who follows this path, I was intrigued, but it seems that like most other media figures, Chang wanted to demonize what we do and make it seem like we are indeed ‘enslaved’ to our kids.

Well, I AP and unschool and I am not at all enslaved, thank you very much. I get plenty of mom time, as a work from home mom. My husband and I do what some call ‘attachment partnering’, where we take turns watching Ky. And when grandparents or family is around, they help out as well. For me, co sleeping means more sleep for me, as she nursed during the night in her sleep, so I didn’t have to wake up and get formula during the night, heat a bottle. I merely turn around and nurse. By unschooling/homeschooling I don’t have to deal with PTA meetings, bullying, or any sort of teacher-student conflicts. I don’t have to worry about her eating pizza for breakfast, as is done in many US schools. So to me, APing and unschooling is much, much easier. If Kaya wants to do say dance, we do dance. If she wants to do something else, we shift to that or include it. Be we aren’t running around between school, social activities, day care, work, etc. That, to me, would be torture.

Does that mean I think parenting is easy, or that their is one way to parent? Of course not, there are no two families alike. I don’t parent the same exact way Mayim does, as we do use diapers. But as someone who attended boarding school from age 12 onwards, I can say with certainty that the best education I got was from being an autodidact and not from being told what to learn, and when. That is more a sense of control than anything else. And the times I visited public schools and went to private school, I saw the same thing.

Basically, kids are not raised by parents anymore, they are raised by society. It is an indisputable fact that kids spend more time at school, social activities, daycare, and other such services than at home. Some families decide to negate this trend by following a ‘simple living’ path where they get a smaller house and live a more frugal lifestyle, in order to avoid working 24/7 and doing tons of activities. Downshifting is not a popular tactic in our world. Why is that? we are addicted to consumption and having a consumer driven lifestyle. We want more, bigger better. But after the economical situation spread worldwide, many of us ( myself included) have been forced to downsize our lifestyles, and I admit for me it has been very challenging.

I find it incredible sad how in order for a woman to be a feminist we need to basically be three things: pro choice, atheist ( frequently), and working. For me, feminism has nothing to do with those things. They have to do with a woman having choice. I choose to AP and unschool because it works for all of us, it makes us incredibly close and happy. But nowadays, there really is little emphasis on choice, it is more a decision that has been made for us: we should work, we should pursue a career. No thanks, that isn’t what I want, I want to raise my kids at home and take 100 percent responsibility for their education and well being. And I want to enjoy my sleep, like I do while co sleeping. Because me walking through the house at night to heat a bottle, isn’t ever going to happen.

I don’t like how parenthood is demonized, how society pushes we can do it all, have a career and pencil in kids on the side. I’m sorry, children change everything. It doesn’t mean one needs to give up one’s interests, it means they need to be expressed in different ways. Travel lovers like me can still travel, but it is different. I can still be a writer, and gamer, and all the other things I am. I can still speak out against political corruption, but I can do it from home or when my husband isn’t working.

I would love to know your thoughts on the unschooling interview with Mayim!!

Filed Under: Family Life, Peaceful Parenting, Unschooling Tagged With: Attachment Parenting, cosleeping, Mayim Bialik, Unschooling

Raising Kind Children, Creating Kind Adults

February 22, 2012 By SattvicFamily 11 Comments

I consider myself to be a very ‘alternative’ person. I mean, in the sense that we unschool and eat a mostly vegetarian diet. And play video games and such. But as a family and what we do, we are actually very traditional and conservative. I am very, very worried about modern society and materialism, as well as intense ‘individualism’ ( me, me, me). We are hyperconsumers, lost in busyness and buying. The current economical struggles we are all facing are changing this in some ways, but I fear that we lack community so much so that kindness is diminishing, in certain respects.

What my husband and I are proud of is that Kaya is a kind child. That has been our focus: raising her to respect all of life and be kind to herself and others. This is the basis of creating a community that is steeped in concern for all members, and for promoting health and happiness within its reach. I have been very, very saddened at how society distances parents from their children, and individuals from eachother. And I have noticed some disturbing things on my travels, namely children acting unusually unfriendly towards eachother and also towards their parents and even animals. I don’t agree with creating a subservient child, but I absolutely believe in fostering respect and admiration for others. Especially the elderly, whom are almost looked down upon in our world.

‘ In 2005 MTV produced a marketing report entitled Is This The First “Me” Generation ever? The report showed that the growing sophistication of electronic gadgetry has led to a generation connected to their machines rather than to eachother; the global village is fading as people have potential to be better informed but couldn’t care less. The hyper-consumer is young and confidant, and acquires self esteem from buying well rather than the boring process of acquiring wisdom. People are increasingly connected to their own story, not to anybody else’s’

Abbot Christopher Jamison, Finding Sanctuary

I agree with much of the Abbot’s sentiment, as well as the MTV finding. I also firmly know and believe that the internet has the potential to unite people all over the world, as was exhibited by the mass protests in Egypt and Occupy Wallstreet. But at the same time, its how we use it, and how much we use it and our gadgets that is the problem. Our cultures are hyper busy, and overly connected to the net. Sites like facebook can and do certainly foster and environment where we can connect to old friends, but it can also be a big time waster from our family and our immediate friends. And it can also be the whole ‘me and my story’ thing.

So how do we, as parents, raise kind children who are connected more in real life and use the internet merely as a tool that can indeed be put away when it is not needed? How can we become truly more connected with our loved ones, friends, and all of life? That is really a more philosophical question, but when it comes down to it it’s showing our children compassion and concern for others from our own actions. Children hate hypocracy, and if they see us being mean or disconnected and not helping someone in need, they copy us. And thus the cycle perpetuates.

The key is to make kindness a priority, as well as how your family feels about reaching out to others in need of help. No one is perfect, so of course we all have our bad days. But a start is to create a family board with pictures of individuals who have helped people ( Gandhi being an excellent example, and MLK jr) as well as images of individuals locally and abroad who you can help. Discussing the board daily or as much as possible with your child shows that it is a priority in your life.

Do you have any suggestions as to how you encourage your kids to be kind? I would love to hear them!

Filed Under: Family Life, Homeschooling, Peaceful Parenting, Unschooling Tagged With: raising kind children

Family Photo Ideas: How To Display Your Pictures

February 17, 2012 By SattvicFamily 1 Comment

My husband and I realized that we were really, really lacking in family photos around the house. Sure, we have our wedding pics and a few from our honeymoon on the walls, but not many pictures of beautiful moments that we have experienced in the last few years. That is one of the main reasons I made our book, so I could have some darn family photos around, and not just in cyberspace!!!

I have begun plotting other ways to display all the pics we’ve taken, on our ipad and with our camera, and here are some neat ideas.

Magnets

What cooler way to display your family’s images than on your fridge, which probably needs

a makeover anyway, right? Pinhole Press ( where the above photo is from) and Stickygram have

magnets that you can make from your instagram pictures or camera. I can’t wait to get some.

Canvas